Content note: This post talks about suicide and suicidal thoughts, including my own experience. If that’s not where you are today, save it for another time. No pressure.
If you need support right now:
- Call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), or chat at 988lifeline.org
- Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line)
If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
I found out Tuesday while scrolling Facebook. I’m not on social media much anymore, so I only catch things sporadically, and this was one of those moments where the news just landed. RJ Mitte died Monday. He was 34. He had cerebral palsy and used his own experience to inform his role as Walt Jr. on Breaking Bad. His representative confirmed he died by suicide. The investigation is still ongoing, so I’m not going to speculate about why. I don’t know, and neither does anyone else writing about this.
There’s already a flood of coverage trying to explain why. Some of it comes from unnamed sources, and I’m not going to repeat it. Nobody gets to be the final word on what was going on inside someone else. What I can say is that suicide is almost never about one thing, and we honor people better by not reducing them to a headline.
What I do know is what he meant to a lot of us. He was one of the first people I ever saw on television with cerebral palsy. I don’t remember exactly when I started watching Breaking Bad, but I thought it was really cool that there was a character with CP on the show. I remember when Walt Jr. got his driver’s license and his first car, and I thought that was pretty cool too. Before that, I didn’t see many people like me on screen, if any.
RJ was an ambassador for many organizations, and he put that into action here in Minnesota. On October 22, 2025, he visited Can Do Canines in New Hope to begin a partnership with our own service dog organization. He toured the facility, watched an assistance dog demonstration, and spent time with Tiff, a client who also has cerebral palsy, and her mobility assist dog, Tucker. He told reporters this wasn’t just a pet, it was “a partner.” I didn’t get the chance to meet him, and I wish I had. But it was awesome that a Hollywood celebrity chose to come to Minnesota and support a cause that matters so much to people like me.
I’m not writing this from a distance. I’ve lived with depression most of my life. I didn’t get a diagnosis until I was an adult and started seeing a psychologist regularly. In high school, I had suicidal thoughts, and I came close to acting on them. Something stopped me. I don’t know if it was an angel, a presence, or just a tiny voice in the back of my head, but I didn’t do it.
The next day, I told someone. A trusted person at school. I didn’t have polished words. I just said it, and they sat and listened. That’s all they did, and it mattered more than I can explain. They helped me through some very difficult times after that, and I’m forever grateful.
Living with a disability can make the hard days harder. Part of it is the struggle to do simple, easy things. Yesterday I got an Amazon package and had a hard time opening it. I ended up getting the scissors. It’s not having the same access as able-bodied people. It’s not being able to get in a car and just go. It’s planning, organizing, and coordinating just to do simple things. It’s exhaustion, it’s being overlooked, it’s all of the above. People with disabilities also face a higher risk of depression and suicidal thoughts, and that deserves more honesty than it gets.
So what helps me? People. Friends who have disabilities, and being able to talk to them. I also see my psychologist on a regular basis, just to check in. Sometimes we talk about the important things we’ve been working on for six months. Sometimes we talk about really cool things that happened in the last week. Both count.
I’m sharing this because it can happen to anyone. It can happen to famous people like RJ, and it can happen to people nobody has heard of. Success, visibility, and advocacy don’t make someone immune.
If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. I know that sounds cliché, and you hear it a lot, but it’s the truth, and it’s important that you hear it. It’s important that I say it, period.
I don’t want to turn RJ’s death into a neat lesson, because there isn’t one. But I don’t want us to quietly move on either. If you’re carrying something heavy, you’re not weak and you’re not a burden. Tell someone, even if it comes out clumsy. If someone tells you, you don’t need the right words. Sit and listen, like that person did for me.
If you want to honor RJ’s legacy in a practical way, Can Do Canines is always looking for volunteers and donations. You can read about his visit in their post and in WCCO’s coverage.
If this brought something up for you, the 988 information is at the top of this post. Please use it.
Who is your “trusted person,” or who could be? I’d love to hear in the comments, if you’re up for it.
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