Wheels On Down the Road

Tag: Life with a Disability

Personal experiences, challenges, and triumphs of living with a disability, from daily routines to navigating societal barriers.

  • A Personal Anthem for the New Year

    A Personal Anthem for the New Year

    As I enter a new year, I am realizing how important it is to have an anthem. Not a resolution. Not a slogan. Something steadier than that.
    For now, 2025 and 2026 are sharing the same anthem: Tubthumping.

    The last few months have been testing.

    The weather has made it harder to get out of the house. That kind of confinement wears on you whether you acknowledge it or not.

    I have been walking alongside Jason through the struggles he has been having with his eyes. That uncertainty carries real weight.

    At the same time, I am still navigating the frustration of trying to find full-time employment. I am showing up and doing the work. I keep going even when progress feels slow and unclear.

    This is not abstract hardship. It is daily life. It is patience, waiting, worry, and persistence.

    That is why this song fits. Not because it is clever or nostalgic, but because it is honest.

    I get knocked down. That part is not hypothetical, it is simply life. But I get back up. Again and again. No dramatics. No victory lap. Just the steady decision to keep going.

    Some days that looks like loud defiance. Other days it is quiet grit. Either way, I am still here.

    Still moving forward.

    Still standing my ground.

    That anthem may change someday. But for now, it fits this season exactly. If these years are about anything, they are about endurance. And for the moment, this song says it better than anything else I could choose.

  • Still Becoming, Still Moving Forward

    A Season of Reflection

    I know I have not written in a while. The end of the year is always been difficult time of year for me. It is a season of reflection, whether I want it to be or not.

    There is a line from Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas that comes back to me every year:

    Faithful friends who are dear to us
    Gather near to us once more
    Through the years we all will be together
    If the fates allow.

    The older I get, the heavier that line feels. It holds gratitude and truth at the same time. Some people are still here. Some are not. None of it is guaranteed.

    That song carries personal history for me. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was the first song I sang on our family Under the Tree holiday CD. It was the very first song I sang. This was back in 1999. It has quietly followed me ever since.

    A lot of people send out polished Christmas letters listing accomplishments and milestones. I have never been good at that. This year brought change, not trophies, including quieter, more personal ones.

    Still Becoming

    This past spring, I wrote about the idea of always becoming. It was about growth that does not arrive with neat endings or clear resolutions. That theme followed me all year, often in uncomfortable ways.

    Part of that becoming meant choosing honesty. I wrote about going by the name Alyn, not as a reinvention, but as recognition. Outwardly, it was a small change. Yet, it reflected something deeper about my self-understanding. It also showed how I want to move through the world.

    Partnership and Home

    Jason and I are still steady. We passed fifteen years of living together, and at some point you stop counting.

    It is like age. I turned forty-two this year, technically, but numbers matter less than continuity. What matters is that we are still here, still choosing each other, even when things are heavy.

    The animals are still holding strong. Surley remains happy, eager, and ready to work. Kalo, who seems determined to live forever, is slowing down but still very much himself. He is older now, a little stiffer, a little clingier. He has started sitting with me more, something that once belonged exclusively to Spaz. I do not question it. I take it for what it is. Even when I am playing video games, and he is draped across my arm while chaos unfolds on the screen. I feel grateful for the quiet companionship.

    Work and Worth

    Work continues to be complicated. I am still employed, and I enjoy what I do and the people I work with. The problem is consistency. Months can pass without shifts. Disability income keeps me afloat, but barely. Earlier this year, I wrote about being more than qualified and still overlooked. That experience is not abstract. It lives in unanswered applications and interviews that go nowhere. It is frustrating, but it is also familiar.

    There is also the longer view. I also wrote about moving from being a visible symbol to an invisible adult. The attention fades. The needs do not. That reality has shaped how I have moved through this year, even when I did not name it outright.

    After months of trying to find something more reliable, I started working with vocational rehabilitation. I have had interviews. Nothing has landed yet. Maybe the new year will bring something different. Maybe it will not. I am still trying.

    Uncertainty and Care

    There is uncertainty ahead. Jason’s vision remains a concern. His degenerative eye condition means there may come a time when he cannot work. If that happens, our financial reality could change dramatically. It is one of the key reasons I have been more actively looking for work.

    Jason has carried more than his share this year. He lost his father late this summer, a loss that reshaped everything. On top of that came serious eye complications unrelated to Usher syndrome. Surgeries followed. Complications followed those. We talk about it daily. I go to appointments. I listen when frustration takes over. Earlier this year, I wrote about passengers on the journey, and that idea feels especially true now. Support is often quiet. It looks like showing up and staying.

    Love, Loss, and What Remains

    Earlier this year, I wrote about quiet reminders, the small things that steady us when life feels loud. That idea has stayed with me. As the years pass, the awareness of who is still here and who is not becomes sharper. None of it is guaranteed, and that truth carries more weight than it once did.

    I think about those who remain, the ones who show up and stay. I also think about those who are gone. Earlier this year, I wrote about holding onto love after loss. Grief does not replace love. It reshapes it. That truth lives with me when I think of my friend Colleen. I also think of Jason’s dad Harold. There are so many people I never had enough time with.

    I think about Dempsey. Three years have passed, and I still miss that stubborn, energetic chocolate Labrador. Surley is here and wonderful, but loving him does not erase the love I still carry for Dempsey. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of my chocolate boy.

    This year has been a lot. I am not complaining. Life does not ask permission before it happens. We deal with what is in front of us and keep moving.

    Writing, Play, and Practice

    Not everything I wrote this year was heavy. I allowed myself a lighter side project, telling parts of my story through music in a life in songs. It was playful and nostalgic, but also revealing. Music has always been a quiet companion. Revisiting it reminded me that reflection does not have to be solemn to be meaningful.

    I also took a writing class this year. The pieces that came from it gave me permission to experiment and wander. The pieces were tributes to both Dempsey and Surley. They were imaginings of what Kalo and Surley would do if left alone. They reflected a traveler in a journey through a wasteland. Finally, they were quiet explorations of a life well lived. Writing them reminded me why I write at all. I write not only to educate and inform. Sometimes, I write to process, remember, and imagine.

    Choosing Quiet

    I have taken a slight step back from social media. I wrote about the tug-of-war between thinking and speaking. That awareness has stayed with me. Not every moment needs commentary. The people who matter know what is going on, and that is enough.

    I do not know what the coming year will bring. I know there will be uncertainty, and I know there will be moments of steadiness too. Time spent reflecting in the woods taught me that clarity often comes when noise fades.

    For now, I am still here. We are still here. I will keep moving forward. I carry both the past and the present with me. I am still becoming. I am still rolling down the road as best I can. I will move forward together, if the fates allow.

  • When the Season Shifts

    When the Season Shifts

    When I first became a soccer fan, I never thought much about the weather. It was just part of the experience. The game and I have evolved. I’ve started thinking about how changing seasons shape what accessibility really means for fans like me. Changing bodies also influences this meaning.

    I’ve been reading about Major League Soccer’s proposed move to a fall–spring schedule. I understand the reasoning behind it. Still, I can’t help but think about how it will change the fan experience. This is especially true for those of us who feel the seasons differently than we used to.

    When I first became a fan back in 2015, the cold didn’t bother me. I was just excited to be there to feel part of something alive and electric. I remember going to a game one chilly October and bringing one of my aunts along. She thought I “looked cold,” even though I swore I was fine. By halftime, she’d bought me a hot chocolate, a hat, and maybe even a sweatshirt.

    I still remember that small act of care. The steam rose from the cup. Her laughter cut through the cold air. I didn’t think much of it then. Yet, looking back, I realize it was one of those simple, human moments that stay with you.

    A couple of years later, at our first home game in MLS, the weather turned on us fast. Heavy snow fell throughout the match, thick, wet flakes that clung to your eyelashes and soaked your gloves. The snow was coming down so fast that they had to use leaf blowers to clear the lines.

    My toes went numb halfway through, but it didn’t matter. The atmosphere was electric, the crowd united in equal parts misery and joy. We were there together, and that was enough.

    Those were different times. I was a different person. I was more willing to push through the discomfort just to be part of the moment.

    These days, I’ve noticed that the same weather affects me differently. I attend fewer matches as temperatures drop, and this year I didn’t opt in for playoff tickets at all. It’s not that my passion for the team has faded far from it. It’s just that Minnesota’s fall weather is unpredictable. This unpredictability makes it hard to plan. I find it difficult to feel confident that I’ll be comfortable or safe. The wind cuts a little deeper now. The cold lingers a little longer.

    Supporting a team with an outdoor stadium like Allianz Field comes with that territory. Still, it’s made me think more about what “accessibility” really means. We often talk about it in physical terms, ramps, seating, transportation, and those things matter deeply.

    Accessibility can also mean something softer, more personal: being capable of participating fully without discomfort, fear, or exhaustion. Weather affects this aspect, particularly for fans with mobility challenges. It impacts those with chronic pain or other health conditions, making the cold more than just an inconvenience.

    For some fans, colder games are part of the charm. They enjoy layers of scarves and hands wrapped around coffee cups. There is a sense of endurance that becomes almost a badge of honor. But for others, it’s not that simple. The cold can turn joy into endurance, and that can change the whole experience.

    As I’ve grown and my needs have shifted, I’ve noticed some changes. I’ve started to see how sports, something built on togetherness, can sometimes overlook the quiet ways inclusion matters.

    The fan experience isn’t just about ticket sales. It isn’t solely about crowd energy either. It’s about whether everyone can share in those moments equally. That’s true for people of all kinds.

    This includes those experiencing changes due to age. It also includes people with disabilities, sensory needs, or simply changing bodies who experience the world differently than before. Accessibility isn’t one-size-fits-all, and weather adds another layer to that reality.

    I still love this sport, this team, and the community it builds. Soccer has been a steady thread through so many seasons of my life, literally and figuratively. But my relationship to it has evolved as I have. The same stands that once made me feel unstoppable now remind me to listen to my body. To respect its limits. To show up in ways that make sense for where I am now.

    If MLS does move to a fall–spring schedule, I hope clubs and stadiums will think creatively. They should consider what that means for all fans.

    Maybe that looks like expanding covered seating in some venues. It could also mean improving heat access. Or it could simply involve offering more understanding around accessibility options in cold weather. Sometimes inclusion begins with small acts. It could be a staff member who notices. It might be a space to warm up. Or it could be the willingness to ask, “What do you need to feel comfortable here?”

    For many of us, being a fan isn’t about braving the elements anymore. It’s about connection: to the game, to the people around us, and to ourselves. It’s about finding warmth in community, even when the temperature drops.

    Seasons shift, people change, and that’s okay. What matters most is finding warmth in the stands. We need warmth in the community. It is essential in the spaces that still make us feel like we belong.

  • Forever United: Reflections at Season’s End

    Forever United: Reflections at Season’s End

    As I write this, it’s the day after the final regular season home game. As the final whistle blew under the bright lights of Allianz Field, I felt that familiar mix of gratitude. I also felt nostalgia and quiet pride. The last regular season home game always carries a special weight. It’s more than just a match. It’s a celebration of everything we’ve shared over the months.

    Even though Minnesota United made it to the playoffs, I’ve decided not to get playoff tickets this year. The main reason is cost. I already struggle to afford the regular season. I am already making payments on my season tickets for the 2026 season. As much as I’d love to be there, I just couldn’t justify the extra expense.

    The other reason is the unpredictable Minnesota weather. As the years go on, I find myself less tolerant of the cold. We’ve been blessed with a warmer-than-usual fall. Still, there’s no guarantee it will stay that way. Sometimes practicality wins out, even when the heart wants otherwise.

    The Heart of the Game

    Soccer has always been more than just a game to me. It’s community, connection, and pure emotion wrapped into ninety minutes. Every season brings new stories, new faces, and new memories that stick with you long after the final whistle. This year was no different. I didn’t make it to as many matches as I’d hoped. Yet, the moments I did experience reminded me why I fell in love with this team. Those moments showed me what made this team special in the first place.

    Sometimes life has other plans. Sometimes disability makes things harder than they should be. There are days when energy fades, when logistics get tricky, when even passion has to wait its turn. But that’s okay. We do the best we can with what we’re given, and that’s something to be proud of too.

    The games I did make it to were nothing short of incredible. The roar of the crowd excites me. The rhythm of the chants energizes me. The pulse of the drums reminds me every time why I love this sport. There’s something almost sacred about being part of a crowd that breathes in unison. Hearts beat for the same goal. Voices rise together under a canopy of light.

    Surley’s Season

    Surley didn’t make it to as many games this year either — for a wide variety of reasons. There were days that were simply too cold, and others that were far too hot. Then there were nights like the last game, when they launched pyrotechnics. We’ve made a lot of progress on his fear of fireworks, and I didn’t want to risk a setback. Still, there were plenty of good moments. On a bright note, Surley did make an appearance on the jumbo screen this season. It was akin to what Dempsey did back in the day. A proud moment for both of us.

    Forever United

    Even when I can’t be there, my connection to this team doesn’t fade. It simply finds new ways to shine. Whether I’m watching from home, the love remains constant. It stays strong when I’m checking updates on my phone. I carry their spirit in my heart, unwavering.

    Because love for the game isn’t measured in seats filled or screens watched. It’s found in the stories we tell, the memories that linger, and the quiet hope that refuses to fade.

    It lives in the roar of the crowd that still echoes in your mind. You hear it in the rhythm of the chants you can’t help but hum. You feel the pride that stays with you long after the lights go out.

    Minnesota United is more than a soccer team. It’s a community and a shared heartbeat. It serves as a reminder that belonging can take many forms.

    Whether in the stands, at home, or cheering from the heart, I’ll always carry that unity with me.

    Go Minnesota United. Forever United. 💙🖤⚽

  • Coffee, Caribou, and a Dangling Joystick

    Some families pass down recipes. Mine passed down the ability to fix stuff.

    My grandpa was a mechanic at the local Ford garage until he retired. He could take apart an engine and put it back together like it was nothing. My dad never worked as a mechanic, but the same knack runs through his veins. He’s the guy who can fix just about anything without even batting an eye.

    I didn’t go to school for mechanics. I don’t have a shop, a toolbox wall, or grease-stained coveralls. But I inherited enough of that mechanical instinct to survive—and that’s turned out to be a lifesaver. Literally.

    Because here’s the thing about using a wheelchair: when something breaks, you can’t exactly wait it out. The official way to get things fixed is through a durable medical equipment (DME) company. And if you’ve ever worked with one, you know how long that can take. Sometimes it’s days. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes months. Meanwhile, your life is supposed to keep going.

    That’s why I’ve learned to do it myself when I can.

    Take yesterday, for example. I was at Caribou Coffee, just trying to roll in and enjoy my drink. But the door had other plans. My joystick bracket snagged on the frame, and the whole thing ripped right off. When I say ripped off, I mean the entire joystick was dangling from the side of my chair. It looked like it was about to make a run for it.

    Not the kind of situation you want when you’re miles from home. I jerry-rigged it by wedging it between the armrest and my thigh. This allowed me to limp my way back. Once I was home and had the right tools, I pulled it apart and got everything back together.

    This isn’t the first time it’s happened either. Once before, the joystick arm snagged on a doorway. This also happened at a Caribou. Clearly, coffee shops and I have a pattern. The joystick arm came off completely. Luckily, my friend’s dad lived just down the road and had tools. We got it fixed, no problem.

    Maybe Caribou should sponsor me—buy a coffee, break a joystick, fix it before the cup gets cold. Mechanics run in the family, after all.

    The thing is, these “big problems” are often small fixes. Nine times out of ten, it’s just a matter of grabbing an Allen wrench and tightening a few bolts. And because I’ve inherited that “figure it out” mentality from my grandpa and dad, I can usually handle it.

    I’m not a mechanic by trade. But when it comes to my wheelchair, I don’t really have the option of waiting around. Every repair I make on my own isn’t just about saving time—it’s about keeping my independence.

    And if that’s not worth a little grease under my nails, I don’t know what is.

  • When School Safety Plans Leave Students Behind

    When School Safety Plans Leave Students Behind

    I wasn’t sure how much more I was going to say about the recent school shooting at Annunciation Catholic School. But then I stumbled across an article in the Minnesota Star Tribune, and it stopped me in my tracks.

    We practice drills in school—lock downs, tornado, fire—because safety matters. I remember those drills vividly from my own time in elementary school. My experience was never quite like my classmates’.

    During tornado drills, everyone crouched on the floor, arms covering their necks. Me? Still sitting upright in my wheelchair, because that was the safest option we had.

    Fire drills were even more complicated. I remember a specific instance when the alarm went off. No one was sure if it was a drill or the real thing. Elevators can’t be used in an actual fire, but that day, there wasn’t time to debate. A staff member just scooped me up and carried me down three flights of stairs. I sat on the grass outside without my chair until we got the all-clear.

    I applaud that staff member for their quick thinking in getting me out of the building. I also applaud the Annunciation staff. They pulled a student out of his wheelchair and shielded him with their bodies. Those moments were heroic—but they were also unplanned. They happened because people acted on instinct, not because the system had a clear, inclusive plan.

    The Hard Truth: Our Plans Have Gaps

    Yes, emergency procedures can be written into IEPs. Many do. But let’s be honest—you can’t plan for every scenario. Right now, too many schools are failing to plan for some of the most basic ones.

    Here’s the reality for students with disabilities:

    • They may not be able to flatten to the ground during a lock down.
    • They may not move as fast as their peers—or at all—when evacuating.
    • They may not cognitively understand what’s happening in the chaos and could unintentionally move toward danger.

    These are life-or-death gaps. And yet, they’re rarely talked about until tragedy strikes.

    What Minnesota Requires—and Where It Falls Short

    Minnesota law requires schools to have comprehensive emergency plans, and those plans are supposed to include students with disabilities. Best practices suggest:

    • Individual Evacuation Plans for students who need them
    • Accessible alerts for students with hearing or vision impairments
    • Specialized evacuation equipment, like stair chairs

    But in practice, these things don’t always happen. Many schools still:

    • Skip individualized drills because they’re time-consuming
    • Lack staff training for evacuating students with disabilities
    • Depend on instinct in emergencies, instead of clear systems

    That gap between policy and practice is dangerous—and it needs attention now.

    The Bigger Picture: Gun Violence and Safety for All

    I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again:

    • We need common-sense gun reform.
    • We need mental health screenings.
    • We do not need weapons of war on our streets.

    I support the Second Amendment. I support responsible gun ownership. But firearms designed to fire dozens of rounds in seconds have no place in civilian life. They exist for one purpose: destruction.

    Until laws change, we live in a reality where lock down drills and emergency plans are essential. That reality must include every student.

    What Needs to Happen Now

    We can’t just design safety for the majority and leave the minority behind. Here’s what schools should be doing now:

    • Individualized Safety Plans for every student with mobility, sensory, or cognitive disabilities
    • Regular drills that include students with disabilities (not afterthought drills)
    • Evacuation equipment and staff training to make sure no one is left behind
    • Collaboration with first responders so they know how to assist students with disabilities during real emergencies

    Why This Matters

    I hate writing about this. It breaks me to even think about it. But ignoring it won’t make it go away. These conversations matter because too often, we design for the majority and leave the rest to fend for themselves.

    It’s time to change that. Every student deserves a clear, safe path in an emergency. No exceptions.

    We can’t wait for another headline to have this conversation. Start it now—because safety should never be optional.

    What You Can Do Today

    • Ask your school if students with disabilities have individualized safety plans.
    • Talk to your school board about inclusive drills and evacuation equipment.
    • Advocate at the state level for stronger accountability and resources for schools.

    Resources for Parents and Advocates

  • When Your Service Dog Decides to Channel His Inner Dolphin

    Service dogs are amazing. They open doors, retrieve dropped items, keep us safe, and make life possible in ways that people don’t always see. But here’s the truth people sometimes forget: even the best-trained working dog is still, at the core, a dog. And dogs… well, they have urges.

    Surley after his great plaza water adventure

    Case in point: Surley and the Great Plaza Water Adventure.

    It was one of those gorgeous sunny days that makes every fountain look like a personal invitation to cool off. Surley and I were rolling through a plaza with these shallow streams running across the walkway. He was being so good—focused, steady—but I saw that look. You know the one. Ears slightly perked, tail thinking about wagging, eyes saying, “Boss… water. WATER.”

    I thought, What’s the harm in letting him cool off? So, I stopped, unbuckled his cape, and unclipped his leash so I could stash the gear in my bag. I swear, I didn’t even finish the thought before—WHOOSH!—he was gone. Full-on zoomies. Water flying everywhere. The Labrador joy dial cranked to eleven.

    “Surley! Hey! Come back!” I called, while watching him leap straight into the forbidden water feature like it was the dog Olympics. And honestly? The sheer happiness on his face was priceless.

    Then came the plaza police. They stroll over and go, “Sir, dogs need to be on a leash at all times.”

    And there I am, holding a soggy leash with a grin that says “Yeah… about that.”

    “Sorry,” I said, “he’s usually a professional, but today he decided to… freelance.”

    Look, I get it. Rules are rules. But here’s the thing: Surley spends 99% of his day doing everything right. He resists squirrels, ignores dropped french fries, and basically acts like a canine saint in public. He sometimes has those moments of pure dog joy, even if it means a little embarrassment for me.

    And that’s the part people sometimes miss. Working dogs don’t stop being dogs when you put a vest on them. They need chances to run, play, and get goofy. They should avoid spaces where dogs aren’t allowed. It could be dangerous in those places. I normally take Surley to off-leash areas or quiet places where he can zoom safely. But every now and then, life throws a fountain in your path, and your dog decides to audition for Baywatch.

    So yeah, Surley got me a polite talking-to from the plaza police. And you know what? I’m not even mad. Because that moment? That was pure happiness. And he deserves that.

    Takeaways for Service Dog Handlers and the Public

    For Handlers:

    • Build in off-duty time. Your dog works hard—schedule play sessions where they can let loose safely.
    • Choose the right space. Off-leash parks, fenced yards, or quiet areas away from traffic and hazards are best.
    • Stay in control. Even during playtime, make sure recall skills are sharp so you can bring your dog back quickly.

    For the Public:

    • Respect the bond. Service dogs aren’t robots; they’re living, loving animals who deserve joy too.
    • Don’t judge a moment. If you see a working dog playing off-duty, it doesn’t mean they’re untrained. It doesn’t mean their handler is irresponsible. It means they’re getting a well-earned break.
  • What Symbols Say…and What They Don’t

    What Symbols Say…and What They Don’t

    Content Note:

    This post explores personal safety, public perception, and disability. It examines the powerful role of symbolism in shaping how we see each other. It includes candid reflections on behavior, clothing, and stereotyping.

    My goal is to examine how snap judgments affect perceptions. Cultural bias, lived experience, and survival instinct often shape these judgments.

    My goal is not to reinforce harmful narratives. These are sensitive topics, and I approach them with honesty, nuance, and a desire to encourage thoughtful dialogue, not division.

    Hats, Songs, and Snap Judgments

    I was listening to Jason Aldean’s Try That in a Small Town the other day, and it got me thinking.

    Not about the music itself—though it’s catchy in that flag-waving, boot-stomping way, but about the reaction it sparked. The song blew up. It was not because of a brilliant guitar solo or a poetic turn of phrase. It gained popularity because people saw it as more than a song. For some, it was a patriotic anthem. For others, a veiled threat.

    Like another modern American lightning rod: the MAGA hat.

    That bright red cap, simple as it is, might be one of the most instantly polarizing accessories in U.S. history. To some, it’s just a political statement. To others, it might as well be a warning flare.

    So what is it about these symbols—songs, hats, slogans, flags—that causes such intense reactions? Why do some people feel pride when they see them, while others feel fear?

    And most importantly, what can we do to see past the symbol and engage with the person?

    When a Song Becomes a Flashpoint

    Released in 2023, Try That in a Small Town went viral. It reached not just the charts, but also spread across headlines, op-eds, and furious threads. The lyrics paint a picture of small-town loyalty. They highlight tough consequences for crime. Aldean made no secret of the song’s pro-law-and-order message.

    But it wasn’t just the lyrics. The music video, initially filmed at a Tennessee courthouse where a Black teenager was lynched in 1927, paired Aldean’s performance with scenes of violent protests and looting. To many, that imagery—plus the song’s aggressive tone—felt racially charged and threatening.

    To others, it felt honest. Real. A voice for people who believe their rural communities and traditional values are mocked or misunderstood.

    So which is it?

    Well… both. And that’s the point.

    When a Hat Isn’t Just a Hat

    The MAGA hat follows a similar logic. Originally a campaign slogan, “Make America Great Again” has morphed into a political identity. Wear it, and you’re instantly tagged—by strangers on the street, by friends on Facebook, by whoever is across the room.

    Some wear it proudly to show support for Trump. They also wear it to push back against what they see as cancel culture. Others see it as a stance against coastal elitism.

    Others view the hat as a threat—a symbol of racism, exclusion, even violence. And not without reason: plenty of people have used it as a tool of intimidation.

    The reality? The hat isn’t magic. It doesn’t turn someone into a villain—or a hero. But it does carry the weight of what’s been done in its name.

    The Red-Hat Moment: My Brain Took a Shortcut

    I’ll admit it. I’ve had my own knee-jerk reaction. Not long ago I was visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in ages. As I walked up, I spotted that familiar shape on their head: bright red cap, bold white lettering.

    My stomach dropped. I hadn’t pegged them as the MAGA type. For a moment, I felt this weird swirl of disappointment. Confusion and even a little anxiety crept in.

    Then I got closer. The hat? Totally apolitical…just a diner logo. My brain had filled in the blanks—and fast. That’s how potent the MAGA symbol has become: it hijacked my perception before I even focused my eyes.

    Safety, Perception, and Lived Experience

    Snap judgments don’t stop with red hats. They fire when someone’s clothes or body language feel threatening.

    When someone gives off an aggressive or unpredictable vibe, I naturally tense up! it’s less about what they look like and more about the energy they’re projecting. It doesn’t matter their race or background; if the energy feels off, I stay on alert.

    As a person with a disability, I live with the reality that I’m more vulnerable in public spaces. If someone decides I’m an easy target, I can’t always run, fight back, or vanish. Statistics on crime against disabled folks are grim.

    So yes, my guard goes up. I’m scanning for risk.

    But I also know those gut reactions aren’t perfect. They’re shaped by media, experience, and survival instincts that don’t always leave room for nuance. That’s not an excuse it’s just the tension I live with: protecting myself without dehumanizing someone else in the process.

    Being on the Other Side of the Assumptions

    Here’s the twist I don’t just make snap judgments. I’m on the receiving end of them all the time.

    Because I move differently, people assume I think differently. They slow their speech, over-enunciate, or talk to the person next to me instead of me. Apparently physical disability = mental disability in their shortcut-happy brains.

    It’s dehumanizing and exhausting. It springs from the exact same place as those red-hat and hoodie reactions. It is that lightning-fast visual assessment we love to rely on. So yes, I get why we judge symbols. I also know what it feels like when that judgment erases who I actually am.

    Why Our Brains Go There

    We’re wired to simplify. Symbols help us sort the world into friend or foe in milliseconds. Efficient, sure—accurate? Not always.

    Songs and hats are easy to judge. People are messy. When we reduce someone to the symbol they’re sporting, we lose the story of why they believe what they believe.

    So What Can We Do?

    • Get curious, not furious. Ask, “What does that mean to you?” instead of “How dare you wear that?”
    • See the person, not the brand. Humans are never one-note.
    • Balance intention and impact. Harm can happen even without malice.
    • Know when to walk away. Some folks wield symbols purely to provoke. You don’t have to oblige.

    More Listening, Less Labeling

    “Try that in a small town,” the song challenges.

    Maybe we should try talking in one. Or in a city. Or across the dinner table. Not to convert just to understand.

    Symbols will always carry power. But so do our choices especially the choice to look beyond the surface.

  • When the Seats Are Gone Before We Even Have a Chance: The Quiet Battle for ADA Accessibility at Concerts

    When the Seats Are Gone Before We Even Have a Chance: The Quiet Battle for ADA Accessibility at Concerts

    An article in the Star Tribune debated whether the 2025 Minnesota State Fair Grandstand lineup is “subpar” or just misunderstood. It had me thinking, but probably not in the way the author intended. The article focused on whether the lineup lives up to the musical reputation of the Fair, and honestly? I get the debate. Would I love to see a tier-one, stadium-filling act take the stage? Absolutely. But let’s be real—the Minnesota State Fair isn’t Live Nation. They’re not printing money behind the corn dog stand.

    This is a community-rooted event trying to appeal to a wide range of people with limited resources. And for what it’s worth, I think they’re doing a solid job. Minnesota is a musically rich state. It is home to Prince, Bob Dylan, and a thriving local scene. We still attract well-known, respected artists, which says a lot about our cultural pull.

    But while the debate rages about whether the lineup is exciting enough, I’m sitting here wrestling with a different question:

    Why can’t I even get in the door?

    This year, there was a show I was eagerly anticipating. It was Melissa Etheridge and the Indigo Girls. It sold out of ADA seating almost immediately. And when I say “immediately,” I mean lightning fast. No procrastination, no dragging my feet—I was there. I tried. But I still missed out.

    And this isn’t a one-time glitch. It happens again and again. If you’re a disabled person, trying to enjoy live music presents challenges. It often feels like your odds of getting a ticket are slim. In fact, it feels like they are almost none. And no one seems to be talking about it.

    Accessibility by the Numbers

    Let’s put it in perspective:

    • 1 in 4 Americans (26%) lives with a disability. (CDC)
    • Yet at many concert venues, fewer than 1–2% of seats are reserved as accessible.
    • A 2017 Government Accountability Office (GAO) report found that ADA ticket options are frequently resold. Venues rarely monitor whether those seats are being used appropriately. They also rarely check if the people using them actually need them.
    • Resale platforms (like StubHub or SeatGeek) generally do not verify disability status when ADA tickets are flipped. This creates a gray market. It further restricts legitimate access.

    ADA seats often disappear in the first few minutes of availability. This makes us wonder:

    • Were they sold to people with actual accessibility needs?
    • Were they grabbed by opportunists hoping to make a profit?

    The Bigger Problem

    It’s not just about fairness. It’s about dignity, equity, and inclusion. Being able to attend a concert—or a sporting event, or a theater performance—isn’t just entertainment. It’s part of participating in culture.

    And yet, the system is opaque at best, and exclusionary at worst. Many ticketing sites bury their ADA options behind unclear menus. Some require calling customer service (who has time to wait on hold for 45 minutes for one seat?). Others simply mark the tickets as “unavailable” without explanation. It’s frustrating. It’s disheartening. And it’s deeply isolating.

    What Needs to Change?

    Here’s what we should be asking of venues, ticketing platforms, and organizers:

    • Expand ADA seating capacity to better reflect the actual percentage of disabled people in the population.
    • Increase transparency around how many accessible seats are available and when they sell out.
    • Implement safeguards to reduce fraud and scalping—without violating privacy or dignity.
    • Design for inclusion from the beginning instead of retrofitting access as a checkbox.
    • Include disabled voices in planning and policy. Nothing about us, without us.

    What You Can Do:

    1. Observe and speak up. Notice how venues handle accessibility and don’t be afraid to call out poor design or treatment.
    2. Contact your local venues and fair organizers—let them know that ADA access isn’t optional.
    3. Support policy reform. Push for laws that improve ADA compliance and penalize misuse or scalping of accessible tickets.
    4. Amplify disabled voices. Share posts like this, read lived experiences, and help spread the word.

    Let’s Talk About It:

    I’d love to hear from others who’ve experienced this. Have you tried to get ADA tickets and hit a brick wall? Have you seen accessible seats taken by people who didn’t need them? What would you change?

    Drop your thoughts in the comments—let’s make this a conversation.

    Because live music should be for everyone. And that means we need to design systems that reflect that truth.

    Sources:

  • Writing What Moves Me

    Writing What Moves Me

    This was supposed to be just a Facebook post…

    I didn’t plan on writing this post.

    It started as a quiet, reflective moment. You realize just how much you’ve been writing lately. You start wondering why. Not just why you write, but why certain things strike that spark in the first place. Lately, it’s been the little things: a headline, a thought, an unexpected experience.

    Sometimes it’s something I’ve been chewing on for a while. Sometimes, it’s something that hits me in the moment. Either way, it always starts with curiosity and ends with a need to put it into words.

    From Flags to Elevators: Finding Meaning in the Everyday

    Last weekend, I read an article in the Star Tribune. It was about how some Minnesota cities are choosing not to fly the new state flag. That small decision triggered a lot of big questions for me: Why this flag? Why now? And why are local governments opting out? That led me to explore Minnesota’s flag history. More importantly, it prompted me to consider what symbols truly mean to the communities they are meant to represent.

     Flying Forward: Let’s Talk About the Flag Controversy

    During the same reading session, I came across another article. This one was about Elon Musk floating the idea of starting a third political party. Will he actually do it? I doubt it. But it opened up a much more interesting rabbit hole: what could a serious third party mean for the U.S.? Have we really been a two-party country forever? (Spoiler: not exactly.) I knew it wasn’t the post designed for clicks, but I wrote it anyway. Because it made me think.

    Not a Fan, Like the Plan

    Then came something a lot more personal. Jason got stuck in our apartment building elevator. In the basement. No way to get out. No easy way to communicate. That moment shook me, and not just because of the immediate concern for the person I love. I realized how fragile safety is when systems fail. It is easy for someone to be literally and metaphorically trapped without a voice.

    Trapped Without a Voice

    Time, Connection, and the Quiet Things

    A few days later, it hit me that the week was already flying by. I blinked, and it was suddenly Friday. When I was younger, time felt like it moved through molasses. These days, it barrels ahead like it’s trying to break a land speed record. It’s unsettling. But also a reminder: if we don’t stop and notice our days, we miss them completely.

    The Speed of Time

    And then there was my neighbor, John. I hadn’t seen him in a while, but I’d been thinking about him just the day before. He’s in his nineties. He is still sharp. He still tinkers with classic cars. He still carries that calm, measured way that reminds me so much of my grandfather. There’s a quiet connection there, the kind you can’t explain but feel all the same. It reminded me how relationships, even the subtle ones, shape us.

    A Quiet Reminder

    So… Why Do I Write?

    Because I need to.

    Not for clicks. Not for likes. Not to chase trends. I write because something stirs in me. The only way I know how to make sense of it is by turning it into a story. A question. A shared moment.

    I write to reflect. To connect. To offer something real.

    If even one person reads what I’ve written and feels seen, my purpose is fulfilled. If they become curious or feel a little less alone, I’ve accomplished what I came here to do.

    What about you?

    What little things have made you stop and think lately? What everyday moments have sparked something deeper?

    I’d love to hear.